ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
An Open Letter to Martha-Ann Alito About Her New Pride Flag
“It tugs at my heartstrings that you plan to stare wistfully ‘across the lagoon at the Pride flag for the next month’ like some backward Jay Gatsby who has never been invited to a party and whose Daisy currently has her tongue down Jordan Baker’s throat.” -
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Things to do in a Hotel Room After Your Child Falls Asleep at 7:30 p.m.
“Listen to the peaceful sound of your child’s breathing and feel guilty that it is boring you rather than inspiring you to compose a sonnet.” -
That’s the Grind, Baby,
There Ain’t Nothing
Like It“There is NOTHING like The Grind, my guy. Nothing like having my boiz line up outside the conference room, tapping our sensitive little balls over The Big Merger, making eye contact with The Big Boss as he gives me a slow nod from his office.” -
A Recap of the First Season of House of the Dragon in One Scene
“Princess Rhaenyra, forgive me for interrupting your painful childbirth, but your dragon has gone into labor!” -
You’ve Read Your Last Free Article, Such Is the Nature of Mortality
“This is the last piece of information you will have about the outside world. The walls are closing in now. Prepare for a lifetime of ignorance. You will have to ask someone else what’s going on. Someone who is one of those rare things: a subscriber.”
Trending
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May 30, 2024Every Conversation Between Every Parent and Their Child After One Year of College
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June 3, 2024We’re Having a Get-Together. Could You Bring Your Massive, Poorly Trained Dog?
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May 31, 2024“Why I Am Still Voting for Donald Trump” Mad Libs
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May 29, 2024Excerpts from an Epic Fantasy Novel Where the Protagonist Is Over Thirty
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June 6, 2024I Was the Wedding Planner for the Guns N’ Roses “November Rain” Ceremony and Reception
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June 5, 2024We Are the Spiders of This House
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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June 12, 2024Been There, Smelled That: The Bad Scents
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June 10, 2024Short Conversations with Poets: Madeleine Cravens
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June 7, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: Take the W: Business Moves
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June 6, 2024Reviews of New Food: 7-Eleven French Toast Sandwich with Sausage, Egg, Cheese and Chipotle-Bacon Mayonnaise Dressing
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June 5, 2024Letters to Moms: Letter to the Virgin Mary
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June 3, 2024Sorry Not Sorry: The Pope’s Contradictory Apology
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May 31, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: Take the W: Parker
Over in the Store
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“A key barometer of the literary climate.” —The New York Times
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Winner of the John Newbery Medal. "Here is a book that is truly for all ages, as only the best stories are."
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To order this book along side the first five additional installments of Dave Eggers's The Forgetters, click here. Lionel Gregorian is a beat reporter covering the San Francisco Giants—an...
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After a half decade away, the award-winning The Believer is back at McSweeney's. Subscribe today!
Recent Posts
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June 10, 2024At This Rate, I’ll Never Be Able to Start a Second Family
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June 7, 2024Do You Have What It Takes to Take a Summer Friday?
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June 7, 2024A Brief History of Time Travel
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June 6, 2024I Was the Wedding Planner for the Guns N’ Roses “November Rain” Ceremony and Reception
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June 6, 2024An Open Letter to the University Hiring Committee
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